As the new year approaches, many of us are thinking about fresh starts and setting resolutions. But what about our kids?
Goal setting isn’t just for adults – it’s a fantastic way to help children grow their confidence, resilience and ability to tackle challenges. Plus, when done thoughtfully, goal setting can make life smoother and more fun for the whole family.
If you’re wondering how to get started, you’re in the right place. These simple strategies, inspired by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can make goal setting with your child both effective and approachable.
- Set clear, bite-sized goals Big goals can feel overwhelming. Instead of something broad like, “be on time for school,” break it down into small, more manageable steps such as, “choose my outfit at night before bedtime.” Small and specific goals feel achievable, and build momentum.
- Focus on what they can do It’s always easy to tell our children what not to do, but flipping the script is much more effective. For instance, if your child is working toward managing angry feelings, instead of their goal being, “stop slamming doors,” it could be, “take three deep breaths when I feel mad.”
- Make progress visible Children love seeing their hard work pay off. Use tools such as sticker charts, checklists or graphs to track your child’s achievements.
- Reframe setbacks with encouragement Setbacks are part of learning, but they can feel very discouraging! Help your child shift their perspective by reminding them of past success. If they say, “I’ll never get good at this,” you could respond by saying, “Learning something new can be frustrating, but remember how you mastered zipping your jacket? You got better because you kept on practicing.”
- Reflect and celebrate together Even preschoolers can benefit from reflecting on how something is going. At the end of each day, you can ask your child questions like, “What went well with your goal today? What was tricky? How did you work through it?” These conversations will help your child develop self-awareness, and take pride in their progress and effort.
- Start small, stay positive. Big changes don’t happen overnight, and that’s okay! By helping your child set small, achievable goals, you're giving them opportunities to experience success and understand the connection between their actions, feelings and growth.
By helping children set small, achievable goals, we give them opportunities to experience the connection between their actions, feelings, and thoughts. Start small, stay positive, and celebrate the journey—because every step forward is a step toward growth.
Written by Jamie Schrager, Psy.D