Advice for creating structure, connection, and calm during a less structured season
Dr. Jamie Schrager, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Summer often feels like a relief from the pressures of the school year. But for many kids, it can also be surprisingly dysregulating. Without the structure and predictability of school, many families reach out to me looking for support, reporting that their children have become more irritable, clingy, reactive, or easily overwhelmed. That does not necessarily mean something is wrong. More often, it means a child is adjusting to a season filled with more freedom and less routine.
Build Rhythm, Not Rigidity
Children do not need every moment planned, but research shows that they do benefit from knowing what to expect. Consistent wake-up times, meals, outside time, downtime, and bedtime routines can significantly help a child feel more secure and grounded. A visual calendar that provides an overall map of summer, as well as information about any upcoming travel or big events is also a very helpful tool.
Expect Transitions to Be Harder
Transitions can be especially challenging in summer, whether it is ending screen time, leaving an activity, or adjusting to a parent working from home. Preparing children ahead of time, giving simple warnings, and building in small routines around transitions can help them shift more successfully.
Prioritize Connection
It is easy to move quickly into correction when you're feeling overwhelmed. But children regulate better when they feel connected first. Even brief moments of focused attention, warmth, or validation can help lower the emotional intensity of the day.
Look at the Basics
Regulation gets harder when children are tired, hungry, overstimulated, or getting too much screen time and not enough movement. What looks like misbehavior is often a sign that a child’s system is overloaded.
Remember that Parents Need Support Too
Children borrow regulation from the adults around them. That does not mean parents need to be calm all the time. It means that repair matters. Coming back after a hard moment, reconnecting, and trying again teaches children a great deal.
The Takeaway
Summer doesn't need to be perfectly structured to go well. But children tend to do best when they have enough predictability, connection, and support to help them manage the shift. If your child seems more emotional or reactive during the summer months, you are not alone. A little structure, a little flexibility, and a lot of connection can make a meaningful difference.
