Why Parenting Feels so Lonely - and What to do About it

Dr. Emily, OTD, OTR/L

As a parent, you are almost never alone—so why can it feel so lonely? And is there anything you can do about it?

Before I had children, I never would have understood the deep isolation that many parents of little kids feel. And then, as first-time mom of twins, I suddenly found myself spending day after day at home. Never alone, but very much isolated.

Becoming a mother ushered me into a stage of life where a simple adult conversation requires enormous effort. Want to call my mom? Sure, but someone is screaming in the background. A coffee with a friend? Maybe. If it works for the nap schedule, and no one spits up on the way out the door.

Suddenly, those small but important moments of social connection require ten extra steps—and every one of those steps requires planning.

It feels easier to just stay home.

But when staying home becomes the default, your world shrinks quickly. And while isolating yourself may feel like the solution in the moment, humans have never done all of this alone.

Looking back, there are a few things I wish I had realized earlier.

Most parents feel isolated in some way

While a scroll through social media might make you think that everyone else has already found their village, you’re not the only parent looking for connection. Take a Saturday morning trip to storytime at the library and there is one thing I can almost guarantee you will find: other parents who need community, too.

Whether you work outside of the home or your work happens within it, raising small children can make your world shrink in ways you may not expect. As I emerged from my newborn bubble, I started doing something that felt surprisingly vulnerable: actively trying to connect with other parents.

I asked other moms for their numbers - and then I held myself accountable to making plans with them. In my four years of reaching out to other parents, no one has ever said “no” when I asked for their number. And no one has ever snubbed me on a play date invitation.

In my early days of parenting, when I assumed that everyone had a built-in village, I was wrong. The other parents around me were craving connection as much as I was, but no one wanted to make the first move.

If I could go back in time, I’d tell myself as a new mom: getting out of the house is worth the inconvenience. One of the best things you can do to ease your transition into parenthood is create pockets of time where you don’t feel like you are doing this alone. Especially alongside friends who understand what this stage of life looks like.

So how do I make friends as a new parent?

Rethink what socializing looks like, for now

In child development, we call it parallel play when toddlers play separately, beside one another. Socializing as a parent can look a lot like that: parallel parenting. We’re both parenting-from opposite sides of the play cafe-but at least we’re doing it together.

Go Somewhere, Consistently

Make a routine of going to places where you will meet families with similar-aged children. Weekly storytime at the library is free, and, chances are, many of the parents there are regulars. A toddler gymnastics, music or swim class….pick an activity you like, where you will see the same people every week. Bonus points if it’s something you genuinely enjoy.

Send the text.

If this is the part you hate most, here’s your script “we love to do play dates, could we exchange numbers and meet at the playground sometime?” and then: hold yourself accountable to sending the text! And don’t let yourself cancel-within reason, of course. Connection in this season of life is messy - your friends will understand that.

The goal isn’t to create a packed social calendar - the goal is to build a village. A few meaningful connections with parents who get it, who you can see regularly. But you have to step out of your comfort zone and send the text message.

September 1, 2026

How to Repair after Yelling at Kids

Dr. Emily, OTD, OTR/L "YOU broke the garage door!" I instantly wished I could take the words back, as my 3-year-old stood nervously in the garage, shuffling away from our now non-functional garage door. I was feeding the baby when my three-year-old twins zipped into the garage. When I heard them banging on the door, I called out "please stop." Of course, I was baby-trapped, trying not to interrupt a feeding to get us out the door as quickly as possible. Then, I heard a BANG-obviously coming from the garage door. When I got to the garage, not only was the door stuck-it was making this awful alarm sound that it has never made before. Internally, I was screaming "HOW did he manage this? After I TOLD him to stop!" I was furious-or really, just overwhelmed by everything I was juggling in that moment. The hungry baby. Two curious toddlers who touch everything. Being solely responsible for getting everyone ready for the day. And, now, a non-functional garage door. Not to mention the expense to fix it. Two Things Can Be True Did yelling about the broken garage door make me feel better? No. Did yelling about the garage door make me a bad mom? Also no. In the moment, my nervous system was working overtime (and I'm actually feeling some sympathy for myself as I type this). Every great parent loses the plot every now and again. What's important is what you do next. and this is the piece that a lot of parents get wrong. Instead of doubling down on your choice to yell, and saying “I was overwhelmed and needed to yell in that moment….”-remember that two things can be true.: You were overwhelmed when you raised your voice, and also-raising your voice at your kids did not help anyone in the moment. Yelling at kids doesn’t teach them to listen to you, and it certainly doesn’t make you feel better. How to Repair Here’s how I handled it: I got everyone out the door, to the car, buckled, and let myself sit for a minute. Jumping immediately into an apology isn’t necessary, especially if you are still overwhelmed. Then, I calmly said "I am sorry that I yelled. I know that must have felt scary. Next time, Mommy will be in control and will not lose my cool." Notice how I didn't try to justify my words by saying "but you broke my garage door!" Because he already knew that he made a mistake. This wasn't a teaching moment, it was a repair moment. What’s important here is showing your child that you can take accountability when you make a mistake-that is a HUGE life skill that they are learning just by watching you. You Don't Have to Be Perfect Every parent has words that we wish we could take back. What matters more than those words are the words that we use to repair. If you needed this reminder today: your child does not need a perfect parent. They need a parent who shows up in tough moments, and works hard to teach them important life skills, like how to repair when you lose your cool For more resources on teaching kids important self regulation skills, check out the Team Supercrew SOS Kit. We're cheering you on, one repair conversation at a time. Frequently asked question: My child will only listen if I yell at them. What am I doing wrong? Most often, this happens when kids have learned that their boundary testing is effective. Here’s an example: You tell your child to stop splashing in the bath. He keeps splashing. You ask again, and he still doesn’t stop. This continues until you finally lose your cool and yell “STOP IT!” and then, they stop. When this pattern repeats, kids learn that they don’t have to listen unless you are yelling. Here’s what I would do differently in this scenario: After the first splash, I say “Water stays in tub.” After the second splash, I calmly pull the plug of the bathtub, gently lift them from the bath and say “water stays in tub. try again tomorrow” and then continue with the evening routine. This shows kids that your boundaries and firm, and that you are cool and in control.

Learn more

August 1, 2026

The Missing Piece of Potty Training Success: Emotional Regulation

Amanda Mathers Rockefeller, OTR/L When most parents think about potty training, I assume they picture M&Ms, tears, frustration, LOTS of messes. And they aren’t totally wrong. The thing I find frequently overlooked by parents & professionals is that potty training is about much more than learning a physical skill. It also requires children to recognize what their bodies are telling them, manage a big life change, relax and coordinate the pelvic floor, and adapt to a new routine. It's no surprise that potty training can bring so much excitement one day and extreme frustration the next. Why Potty Training Can Feel So HARD From an adult's perspective, using the toilet feels automatic… but for children, potty training asks them to master several new skills all at once, and often with the pressure of doing it in a SINGLE weekend. It's completely normal for children to experience fear, frustration, embarrassment, or resistance as they learn, just as we do as adults when we are learning something new. Learning to Listen to Their Body One of the most important skills involved in potty training is interoception, plainly put, our ability to notice and understand what's happening inside our bodies. Interoception helps us recognize when we're hungry, thirsty, tired, need to use the bathroom, or even when our heart is racing because we're feeling nervous. Some children have a more natural ability to notice these body signals, while others may take more time to build this skill. Developing this body awareness takes time and practice. Just like learning to ride a bike or zip a jacket, recognizing internal body signals is a skill that grows with experience and practice. A Calm Body Learns Best When children feel overwhelmed, pressured, or anxious, it can be much harder to tune into body signals or relax enough to use the toilet comfortably. On the other hand, when children feel safe and connected, they're often better able to notice what their bodies are telling them and approach this new skill with more confidence. Creating a calm, supportive environment helps children practice these new skills without fear of making mistakes. Simple calming activities before or during potty time, such as taking deep, slow breaths together, reading a short book about toileting, or, my favorite, blowing bubbles, can help children settle their bodies enough to learn and respond. There isn't one "right" way to help children learn to regulate their emotions, but these strategies can make potty training feel more manageable. Validate Their Feelings It's normal if your child feels nervous, frustrated, embarrassed, and scared; avoid rushing to fix those emotions; simply acknowledge them. "I know this feels hard.""It's okay to be nervous, this is new.""Learning new things takes practice." Feeling understood helps children move through big emotions more easily. Stay Calm During Accidents Accidents, or as I prefer to call them: “leaks,” are part of learning. Responding with patience instead of frustration teaches children that mistakes are expected and that they can keep trying. A calm response also helps preserve their confidence throughout the process. Keep the Pressure Low Celebrate when your child notices they need to go or attempts to sit on the toilet, even if they don't pee or poop. Acknowledging their small wins builds the confidence needed for long-term success. This should be fun. If you are stressed, your child will inevitably be stressed too. Create Predictable Routines Children often feel more secure when they know what to expect. Offering regular potty opportunities like first thing in the morning or right after dinner, keeping routines consistent, and using familiar books or songs can help make potty time feel less stressful and less like a chore. And start introducing this skill EARLY so that the topic and concept are normal to them by the time they hit late toddlerhood. Please Remember: Milestones Look Different for Every Child Potty training is rarely a straight line. There will likely be days of great success but also plenty of regressions, accidents, and “I don’t want to’s." That's all part of the learning process. I know you want the diaper phase to be over, it will happen. But don’t rush this one. When children feel supported through both the physical and emotional parts of potty training, they're learning lessons that will last far beyond potty training and simply how to use the toilet. Frequently Asked Question "My child pees on the potty but refuses to poop. What should I do?" This is incredibly common. Poop withholding is often not about being stubborn but more often rooted in fear, discomfort, or, in my practice, typically connected to constipation. If your child has had a painful bowel movement in the past, they may begin avoiding pooping altogether. Rather than pressuring your child to "just go," or using shameful language, punishing them, or even withholding rewards, focus on helping them feel safe and relaxed enough to release. Start by incorporating pelvic floor relaxing activities such as playing in a deep low squat and taking long, deep breaths. If withholding continues or your child shows any signs of constipation, talk with your pediatrician. Addressing constipation early can prevent the cycle from becoming more difficult to break.

Learn more

July 12, 2026

How to Prepare Kids to Start School for the First Time

By: Eli Mast, LMFT Whether your child is getting ready to start Kindergarten, Preschool, or Daycare for the first time, this whole new experience can come with a lot of different feelings. As a caregiver, you might have a combination of pride, relief, hope, or even grief as your family makes this transition. And yes, this is a whole family transition! New routines and schedules, and lots of new people to meet. I want to hold space for that. This is a transition for your child, but also for you and everyone in your family. Your child might be feeling excited, anxious, confused, or indifferent. Whatever you, your child, or anyone else in your family is feeling is okay and normal. We are going to take a simple approach to help bring everyone some comfort - talk about it. Talk about school early and often! The more you talk about it, the more prepared you, your child, and your whole family will be. Talk about who is going, what happens in school, when they are going, where it is, why school is important, and finally… When the big day happens, ask how their day was! Talk About “Who” Schools can be large and have many different people. Talk about all of them, such as teachers, nurses, bus drivers, and cafeteria staff. Discuss their roles and how they can help your child if they need support. Most importantly, talk about who they might know at the school already to build familiarity-and make sure your child knows how they will be picked up and dropped off. Talk About “What” Not only do we meet new people at school, but we also do many new things. Discuss with your child what happens at school. Practice things like circle time, recess, going potty by themselves, or reading a book. Try reading a book about school or going to new places such as “Benny the Brave in The First Day Jitters” or “Keisha the Kind in New Camp Courage”. Talk About “When” Make a special countdown so they know when the big day is coming. We want kids to have plenty of time to know when school starts. You can even try a calendar as a visual to show them that school isn't every day. On “S” days like Saturday and Sunday, we get to be home. Predictability and consistency are everything during a moment of change. Talk About “Where” Showing kids where their school is located can give them a more tangible understanding of where they will be going. Drive past the school they will be going to or take a walk there. You might be able to point out some landmarks such as the playground, where their class might be, or pickup and drop-off zones. Talk About “Why” This part is really important. Going to school can be confusing. Why do we have to go when we can just do the same thing we have always done? Frame this in a positive way. Instead of saying, “because I have to go to work” or “because the law says you have to go to school.” Try saying, “We go to school to learn together with teachers and friends. At school, we learn to share, help, listen, and solve problems.” This gives children concrete answers that are relational and feel safe. Talk About “How” There is going to be so much novelty that comes with school. And continuing the conversation around school can help ease all the transitions that come with it. Ask, "How was your day at school?" not just the first day, but every day! Specific questions often open up more conversation than general ones. Try "What did you play at recess?" or "Who did you sit next to at circle time?" By continuing the conversation, you open the door to learn about the transition, problem-solve situations that might arise, and maintain the close bond you had before school started. Never stop talking about school. It is about to become a huge part of who they are. Just like those of us who work a full-time job, which is now maybe intertwined with who you are. School will become this for your child. And it all starts with talking about it. Because in this case, knowledge isn’t just power. It's everything! Frequently Asked Questions “What if I am the one feeling anxious about my child starting kindergarten?” Of course you are! Anxiety is a natural response to any change, and this is a huge shift for your whole family. Recognize that your anxiety comes from a place of wanting what is best for your child, and hope that they will have a great experience in school. That being said, talk about your anxieties out of earshot of your child. (And assume that little ears are listening-even when your child is busy doing something else.) Kids’ brains are designed to feed off of your emotional states. The cooler and calmer you seem about school, the more confident they will feel.

Learn more